It Sure is a Wonderful Life!

Hi Cancer Superheroes and Friends, (Posted 12 days after written because I was challenged by uploading my photos. ;-))

View from Zuzu's Cafe.

I am sitting in a ZuZu’s cafe in Seneca Falls, NY drinking tea and working on Natural Cancer Girl. This town is believed to be where “It’s a Wonderful Life” was filmed. I am looking out the window of the cafe over the canal at the bridge where George Bailey met Clarence the angel. The water is still, the sky is blue with some fluffy clouds, the boat with the name of “Liberty” is quiet, and the green leaves on the trees are beginning to change colors. It IS a wonderful life. I grew up in this town and as much as I am a city girl, this town always brings me peace. It is my hometown.

This trip was unplanned. I have been wanting to go home for months, but unable to make plans due to doctor appointments and biopsies. On Sept. 9, my medical oncologist informed me that the biopsy shows that it is lymphoma, but the type of Hodgkins still isn’t clear. They are sending this biopsy off  to Stanford again. My ND has me on Low Dose Naltrexone along with vitamin C IVs, therefore my MD has decided to do a watch and wait approach. We will be redoing a scan at the end of October.

So, I booked a trip Thursday morning and flew out Thursday afternoon. The theme of this trip was “Spirit Renewal.” I have been homesick for my friends and family for months and needed some time with them.

 Time has been spent with friends and family in Buffalo, Rochester, Waterloo and Seneca Falls. I have danced, laughed and smiled so much my face hurts and it is the best pain ever! I won’t bore you with details, but I will post some photos. Mission Accomplished – Complete Spirit Renewal! 

Self portrait of Brenda and I.

Lisa and I having a great time!

More importantly, this trip was the vacation I needed from cancer. Every day I am constantly doing for my health at home. I took one week to escape all the cancer “stuff.” I only called one doctor and sent one email. I didn’t do any research on alternative medicine and that is something I eat and breathe most days.

Sometimes as a Cancer Superhero we need to step away from the diagnosis and feed our soul. The mind, body, and spirit are like 3 legs of a stool. If one isn’t the same length (being fed), it creates an imbalance with the entire system. I urge you to take a look at your life and determine what leg of the stool needs attention. Are you stressed at work or at home? Is your body in pain and you aren’t addressing it? Are you spending any time alone reading a book, meditating or just doing breathing exercises?

What can you do to help your spirit renewal in the midst of this diagnosis and all the appointments that go along with it? If you can’t go away on a vacation, then how about a stay-cation? At home, consider taking a vacation day from work, leaving the tv off, starting out with a meditation, listen and dance to some music, go for a walk in nature, or whatever else may feed your soul. What does feed your soul? How can you make more time for it? If you can’t find time for yourself in the midst of this diagnosis then when can you?

Provide some feedback and let me know what feeds your soul and renews your spirit. I’d love to hear from you.

Love and light, Diane, Natural Cancer Girl

Have You Thanked Your Cancer Superhero Supporter Today?

What a great week! I had the pleasure of speaking to an amazing Cancer Superhero Supporter amongst the many Cancer Superheroes this week. This woman has been walking alongside her husband as he went through surgeries, chemotherapy and the numerous doctors appointments over the past few months. We spoke about the trials she as a supporter goes through, such as trying to keep stress away from him, paying the the bills – including medical bills, taking him to and from appointments, and trying to learn about the cancer all while trying to maintain her full-time business.  Mostly I just listened, but I also did my best to encourage her on this journey. She has a tough role as a supporter and I admire her for her strength. What a remarkable woman with such a beautiful spirit about her. He is a very lucky man.

Sometimes in the midst of all the chaos, high emotions, fear and sadness, the efforts of our Superhero Supporters get lost. My fellow Cancer Superheros, next time you see one your supporters, be sure to hug them and tell them thank you. Tonight when my husband got home, I did exactly that!

Love and Light, Diane Paradise
Natural Cancer Girl

Co-creating Health Using Prayer and Intention

Since my last blog post, I have received my PET scan results and met with my oncologist. In that post, I spoke about the power of prayer and how I have felt improvement in my body since my Superhero Support System began to pray that prayer on my behalf. Well, I was RIGHT!

Yes! My skeletal structure has shown vast improvement. My right hip is clear and nothing was even mentioned about my shoulder. The growth of my lymph nodes showed only a slight worsening. Both my MD and ND feel as though the change is quite minor. So, it looks like we have  really put a halt to the progression of the disease. I say “we” to include God and all the beautiful souls who have been praying for me. The Stanford lymphoma lab results came back as inconclusive only showing abnormal lymph cells. That’s good news. So far, they haven’t even been able to diagnose this “stuff” (for lack of a better term) as cancer.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, August 26 I am going back to Scottsdale Healthcare to have another biopsy. This one may be a bit more invasive since the radiologist is coring the large lymph node in my stomach by going through my back. I am confident that God is with me as I prepare for what tomorrow brings.

As I laid in the PET scan machine for over a half hour, I just kept repeating the phrase, “Thank you God for this healing.” As I repeated the phrase, a blanket as white as snow felt as though it was set down upon me and the most peaceful feeling I have ever felt came over me. I knew at that moment, no matter what the results were, I was going to be okay. I also realized the definition of “okay” didn’t really matter.

Wherever you are on this journey with cancer, remember God is the ultimate healer and physician and the God Spirit lives within you. Today choose to co-create perfect health and healing.
Pray with the expectation of full healing.
Vividly imagine your body fully healed.
Feel your cells alive with health.
What does that look like to you in your life and in your body?
What are you doing that you aren’t doing now?
Are your cells radiating beautiful vibrant energy?

I challenge you to choose a different picture for yourself today. A picture of you perfectly healed, whole and healthy.

Love and Light Cancer Superheroes,
Diane
Natural Cancer Girl

The Power of Prayer in Healing

Hi Cancer Superheroes and Friends.

It is 1:24 AM and my body is buzzing with life, energy and a renewed sense of optimism and focus. The last few days have tested me and the strength of my faith. Gratefully, my faith prevails and there is peace within the storm. In the last few days, I’ve dug deeper and grown stronger and for that I am thankful. I am convinced this peace comes from the power of prayer and meditation. Part of this journey for me is about asking and receiving. I am a great giver and have been most of my life. Receiving is a bit more difficult for me and asking, well that used to short circuit me. I would give my life’s blood to something before I asked for anything or any help. (Hmmm. Is there a connection to the cancer here?) 

Recently, I put together what I refer to as  my Superhero Support System.  This is a book club with a goal to provide support to each other as we read and grow from the lessons we are learning in the books. Five of my friends and my husband gather on Monday nights to talk in depth about what we are learning, how we are applying it in our lives, and the results we are seeing. We are currently reading the book, “The Power of Your Subconconscious Mind” by Joseph Murphy, Ph.D, D.D. The first seven chapters are dedicated to healing your body using your subconscious mind. Did you know that more than 90 percent of your mental life is subconscious? Yet it seems we expend 90% of our energy on the 10% that is conscious.

We all know God is great and the universal power of prayer is stronger than we can begin to define. The power of prayer and meditation isn’t something new in healing, but it’s the way Dr. Murphy talks about it. He outlines different types of prayers, different techniques and even demonstrates success with the principles. One of the techniques he discusses is called absent treatment, although I think a better name would be long-distance treatment. Sometimes it isn’t possible for you to be with the person who is needing your support, so the best thing for you to do is pray for them. According to Dr. Murphy, “in the mind principle, there is no time or space.” The treatment you are sending the person’s way is in the form of words and visualizations of pure health and harmony within the body. Their body will feel that prayer energy and respond.

After reading this and already feeling the effects of other methods by Dr. Murphy that I put into practice, I decided to reach out to even more friends, who are now another part of my Superhero Support System. I sent out a note on Facebook explaining the basic principle behind the prayer and asked them to pray for me over the next 11 days while I awaited my PET scan. While they were praying the words provided to them out of the book, I was praying and affirming health and harmony within my body as well.  It was hard to ask for help, but I knew it was time to call in anyone who was willing to take part. The response has been incredible (thank you) and the effects felt immediately.

My PET scan is tomorrow. Since I wrote and asked my friends to pray that prayer 18 days ago, I have noticed that my hips, back and legs no longer hurt. My shoulder hurts once in a while, but not often. My energy has increased dramatically and most days I feel an extreme sense of being lifted up.

The night before a scan I am usually a nervous wreck and a bit melancholy reflecting on whether or not I’m happy with my life thus far and if I would do things differently. Instead, I find myself awake tonight planning seminars, making list of potential sponsors, writing notes for what may turn out to be speeches or books or both, and most importantly planing for a future full of helping others walking this path looking for answers. I don’t proclaim to have all the answers for anyone. The answers for me are within me. The answers for you are within you. I am here as the facilitator of information and education to help all Cancer Superheroes know what is available to them.

The results of tomorrow’s PET scan will help determine the course of treatment, not my future. I determine my future and my future is so bright I have to wear shades!

Cancer Superheroes and Friends…

Who can you enlist to pray for you? Ask and you shall receive. God is waiting to answer.

Love and Light, Diane
Natural Cancer Girl

Today I Fired My Oncologist

Yes, it’s true. You knew it was coming and so did I.  The conversation went like this:

• The nurse calls my work to tell me that the conventional oncologist has to reschedule my appointment for the third time.
• She states that Stanford needs another two weeks with my biopsy, so the doctor wants to reschedule my appointment.
• I inform her that I have questions about the results that are back. For instance, does a negative bone marrow aspiration mean no bone cancer?
• She tells me that the doctor doesn’t want to waste my time.
• I respond by saying it’s my time and I choose to share it with my doctor and I insist on meeting with her.
• She then informs me that the doctor is at a medical conference for two weeks. Ahhhh. Now I get it. Is that the same two weeks Stanford needs and how come she didn’t know this when we scheduled it two weeks ago.
• Now I request that I meet with her practice partner. Answer – No.
• I then ask her how she would feel if she was told her cancer has spread into 4 new areas and haven’t met with the doctor since May 12.
• She proceeds to tell me she understands and I make it very clear she doesn’t. I also remind her that if this cancer has gotten worse and it could have been prevented by doing a simple bone scan, then the doctor will hear from my attorney.
• I ask her if she realizes this is the third cancellation and that I have concerns to discuss.
• She keeps saying she understands. Really?!
• She wants me to make another appointment for July 28, almost my three month mark.  I did just to get her off the phone. Knowing I would never be there.
• When I hang up, I call my husband and cry uncontrollably. I am stunned at the lack of connection with this doctor, especially because she seemed so nice when we first met.
• My husband tells me to fire her. That’s a given.
• I call my ND’s office to get another referral.
• In less than a half hour, an email arrives with a name, web site, phone number and a message that they’ve already spoken about my case. The best news, the new doctor can see me next week.
• Now that’s being there for your patients.
• I get the PCP referral and leave a message for the new doctor’s office. The secretary says she is so glad the doctor has agreed to fit me in. The new patient person will call me on Monday. Bonus: This doctor is only 10 minutes from my house instead of 40.
• Now I call back the “former” oncologist to let them know I already have a new oncologist and please send me the form to have all my records transferred. I never got it. Surprise.
• It’s official. I fired my oncologist for thinking it was okay to regard me as a number and just another case. I’m sure she’ll remember my name now.

Lessons Learned:

• First impressions are NOT everything.
• If a doctor continually denies you face time and blatantly disregards you, find another doctor. (There are plenty out there.)
• Understand that you need to stand up for yourself and sometimes that means making difficult decisions.
• Most importantly, you CAN fire your doctor.

Long before today, I began to think that this oncologist wasn’t right for me. A few unanswered calls, paperwork filled out incorrectly and no return calls about the inaccuracy of the insurance document, and the staff being quite clear about the fact she was never available were only a few of the billboard-like signs that were being made clear to me. Yet a feeling of guilt about firing her because I was “just a patient,” led me to give her second and third chances. Everytime I gave her another chance, my heart new she wasn’t the right doctor for me. Has the failure to do additional diagnostic testing endangered me?

What happened to customer service? Is it because insurance companies are sending people to her practice by the dozen that it doesn’t matter if she communicates with us? Is the insurance company her customer or the patient? Was it really the doctor’s fault or was the office staff being overzealous gatekeepers?

It took me 8 weeks and 3 cancelled appointments to finally take back my power to make a stand and once again choose life.  The only who can choose life for me is me. That’s a lesson I learned a long time ago.

Cancer Superheroes, do you know what you want out of your doctor and their staff?
Do you have an expectation of customer service?  Compassion? Confidence? Knowledge? Empathy? Availability?
Are you aware that there are many doctors who will treat you with respect and honor you where you are at?
Do you fully understand and exercise your right to fire your doctor if your fundamental needs aren’t met?

I end today with a renewed sense of empowerment and faith in myself to make choices that are right for me. It wasn’t easy, but the relief I feel was worth it.

Love and Light, Diane

The Waiting Game.

Hi Fellow Cancer Superheroes and Friends!

Today is July 8, which means it is over two months since my PET scan results came back showing the cancer had moved into my spine, spleen, shoulder and hip bone. So far, we have a few answers, but still no complete picture of the situation. The few answers we have are all good news. The cancer has not converted into non-Hodgkins and the bone marrow aspiration was negative. In other words, the doctor did not find cancer in my bone marrow. The bad news is that the lymph node biopsy yielded abnormal cells, but the in-house lab and a local lab were not able to make out their origin. My oncologist and surgeon made the decision to ship the slides to Stanford Medical Center’s Lymphoma lab. It may take up to 14 days to get the results. At that point, we are so close to my 3-month mark, that my naturopathic doctor has decided to schedule another PET scan to see if there are changes.

Unfortunately, there’s rarely such a thing as “instant” results or answers when it comes to diagnostic testing. Usually the waiting time is pretty reasonable. We want our researchers and lab technicians to take their time analyzing and determining a diagnosis that is correct, so the course of action is correct.   

In 14 years of journeying with cancer, I have never experienced this length of wait time for results and a plan of action.  I am extremely frustrated that it has taken this long and there are still no answers. I am even more frustrated that my oncologist feels the need to continually cancel my appointments since all the answers aren’t in. Having a conversation about what we do have in and the questions surrounding those results would definitely help both my husband and I. Instead, it has me questioning whether or not she’s the right oncologist for me.

No matter how you are doing emotionally with this diagnosis, it always helps to be able to communicate with your doctor and know that your doctor is hearing you. Two appointments, two cancellations on the morning of the appointment. The last appointment was scheduled because I called and wanted to discuss some concerns and questions. The concerns were about the lack of communication. It surprises me that a doctor in this field feels as though it’s okay to say to a person with cancer that it looks like it has spread and then not communicate with them for 8 weeks. The appointments were cancelled due to what is deemed to be a legitimate reason, all the results weren’t in.  Yet, some were and wasn’t that enough to have a conversation with a patient? Yes, as you can read there is frustration in my voice. My next appointment is scheduled on July 15. We’ll see if it actually happens.

The good news is that I have already met with my primary care doctor and have a second opinion doctor lined up who is known for the interpersonal skills with his patients. The bad news is that my primary care doctor blamed the lack of communication on the HMO. Interesting.  

In some ways, this wait has been difficult and yet, I know that it is unfolding just as it should. There is this undeniable peace that comes from faith that God has a plan and purpose in all of this waiting. “If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it.” It’s given me time to reflect on what it is I need to do in order to have less stress and more balance in my life and also make some extremely difficult decisions. Effective July 24, I am resigning from my full-time job to focus on personal healing and Natural Cancer Girl. This is a financial sacrifice as well as a personal sacrifice for our family, but we both knew it was the right decision for us. My full-time job is more like a family – my work family. I am eternally grateful for the friendships that have blossomed in the three years I have been there, which will not be lost because of my departure.

Currently, my work family and I are busy finalizing the last minute details for our annual convention next week, which means my blogging time is limited. As soon as I get my biopsy results, I will write a brief post with more to come after convention. Be on the lookout for some exciting guest bloggers coming your way over the next few months including a homeopathic doctor, nutritionist, naturopathic doctor, chinese medicine doctor, and even some other cancer superheroes.

Cancer Superheroes, the waiting game is part of this journey. What things can you do to help cope while you are waiting for results? Please share your techniques so that others on this journey may learn.  Love and Light Cancer Superheroes, Diane

Bad to the Bone…Not Really.

Hi  Friends and Fellow Cancer Superheroes,

I hope this blog post finds you in good spirits.

This post is to update those following my journey about my bone marrow aspiration. You all know, I was dreading the aspiration. I’ve had it done before and had severe pain for a long time. Although I was under the impression that the procedure was going to be done under general anesthesia, it was not. It was done under a conscious anesthesia and yet I was far from conscious. (Whew!) The experience was so much better than in 2001. An interventional radiologist did the procedure instead of an oncologist. He took a CT scan of my hip prior to doing the aspiration and used it to guide him into the right spot. This allowed him to avoid hitting a nerve or anything else that may cause pain. I felt very little (although I do remember saying, “I feel that”) and came out of the anesthesia quickly.

Scottsdale Healthcare was phenomenal! The nurses and volunteers were so sweet and kind once it was determined why I was there. Scheduling mix up, I guess. One of my nurses is the aunt of Gossip Girl Chace Crawford! How fun to hear those stories. Another nurse gave me all her curly hair product tips. I may not need them for a while if I get chemo and lose my hair, but I’ll keep them in a safe place. The last nurse took a liking to me and gave me an anti-inflammatory to help with my arm pain. I had to put the arm with the incisions over my head. It wasn’t ready to move in that direction. That was the worst pain of the whole process.

I felt so good afterward, my hubby took me out to lunch. Gotta love him. I got a couple hours of work in from home in the afternoon and then called it a night. Today I feel quite bruised on my hip, but overall I feel super. I worked an 8-hour day from home while sitting on cushions, made dinner and now I am writing a blog before heading to bed.

Your prayers and healing energy are helping. Keep them coming!

Love and Light Cancer Superheroes, Diane

Biopsy Surgery a Success!

Hi Cancer Superheroes and Friends.

What a weekend! Surgery on Friday went remarkably well. My surgeon, who is wonderful, removed 4 lymph nodes under my right arm while I was under general anesthesia. The lymph nodes were then taken over to the lab immediately to begin the diagnosistic evaluation. Only one of the four showed abnormalities. The other three were taken due to the proximity to the diseased lymph node. I had a few difficulties coming out of anesthesia. I kept crying for no apparent reason. It was rather annoying to keep being asked, “why are you crying?” Especially when all I could answer was “I don’t know.” I have a friend who is a anesthesia nurse and he said many people cry for no apparent reason.

When they wheeled me into the operating room, I was wide awake. The anesthesia nurse told me that there’s a good chance I won’t remember anything in the OR. I love being told something may not be possible. For those of you who remember when I was told in I would be dead in 12 weeks and I said “watch me” and now it’s been 8 years, you can appreciate my sense of determination. Needless to say, I began to count the number of lights and lightbulbs, people, the temperature of the room, and the table full of operating tools. I even remember the banter between the surgeon, anesthesia nurse and myself as I requested they take a few extra minutes to give me a breast reduction. They seemed to find that amusing! I came out the same size I went in though and now that I think about it, maybe that’s why I was crying. 😉

The evening was mostly a blur thanks to the Percocet prescription for pain. My throat hurt more than anything due to the tube that was inserted. It took until Sunday for that to subside. My sister was able to come in from NY to take care of me and help out Jeff around the house. I sure was thankful to have a sister’s nurturing  in addition to my husband’s. I woke up once to take a Percocet at 3 am and slept until 10 am. Showering was a bit tough since I couldn’t lift my arm over my head to wash my hair. I got through it and then visited with my sister and friend Melissa. Melissa brought her one-year old son, Riley who was just a bright spot in my day. What a good boy with lots of smiles! That evening my sister, Jeff and I went to a sound healing session with other friends at Saggio’s. If you live in the Phoenix, AZ, you need to check it out. www.saggiohealingarts.com. It was the best meditation. I fell sound asleep and just allowed the music to calm my spirit and heal my body.

Sunday was another restful day with a trip to church, nap and then another evening with Saggio and Barbara, his wife. At the end of the evening, Barbara blessed me with a gift of a private session at their place this week. I am so very excited to take part in this healing modality. I find that music resonates with my soul and opens my spirit to trust in God and allow healing to occur on all levels. I feel truly blessed by this gift and look forward to experiencing it.

Overall, my healing has come along quite nicely this weekend. Much of it is due to the wonderful care of my sister Connie and Jeff. My bone marrow aspiration is on Wednesday and with the limited information I have on that procedure, it seems that I will be put under general anesthesia again. That’s great news because the last time I had it, it was under a local and extremely painful. Both the biopsy and bone marrow aspiration are normal diagnostic procedures for lymphoma.

Thank you for all your prayers and healing energy. I felt it all weekend and continue to feel it. I feel so humbled and grateful for all your love and support. Be on the lookout for my new YouTube channel with video updates on this journey with cancer. Just because we are far apart doesn’t mean we can’t stay in touch with all these new communication channels.

Love and Light, Diane

PET Scan Results

This is a long overdue blog post. It’s been a wild ride since the beginning of May. I received my PET scan results and despite my optimism, the results weren’t very good. The scan showed that the cancer has spread to my spleen and spine, shoulder and iliac (hip) bone. Oddly enough, other than extreme fatigue and a minor back ache here and there, I feel pretty good. After spending the first few days processing the information and shedding a river of tears, I find myself being optimistic once again. The journey continues…

Dr. Rubin referred me to a medical oncologist, who is facilitating a biopsy and bone marrow aspiration. These tests will determine if we are still dealing with Hodgkins Disease or if it has changed into Non-Hodgkins. The biopsy is this Friday, June 12 at 2:30 PST and the bone marrow aspiration is on Wednesday, June 17 at 10 am PST. It will take about 10 days to get the results back and at that point both Dr. Rubin and the medical oncologist will develop individual plans and an integrative approach specific to me. At that time, Jeff and I will assess the options and choose which one is right for me. It may include chemotherapy and I am open to to that possibility. Your prayers are very much appreciated.

In the midst of this diagnosis, I also got the flu and landed in the emergency room last week with back and stomach spasms from hours of vomiting. It took 6 days before I began to feel human again. The flu is bad when you are healthy, but when  your body has a lot going on already it was the worst. My spirit was broken for a few days as I recuperated.

This cancer is and always has been an emotional stress related dis-ease for me. My dad died two years before I was diagnosed the first time. The second time, my mom died a year before and I was in a really unhealthy relationship. The third time, I was struggling with building my business and ended up losing my message in the midst. This time around, I have built an amazing business – Natural Cancer Girl – and due to several responsibilities find myself stressed that I am too tired to really work it like I desire.

Balance is not one of my strong suits and doing things half way isn’t my style. I am an all or nothing type of girl who is a recovering perfectionist. I have lived my life according to a lot of rules. Fascinatingly enough, the one time I colored outside the lines was when I choose naturopathic medicine to treat cancer and that decision changed the course of my life. It gave me my life’s passion and showed me my purpose.

Having and taking care of yourself with cancer is truly a full-time job in and of itself. I am continuously learning the best things to do for me in this healing journey and re-evaluating the things in my life to determine what can be put off, shifted, or completely eliminated to create more room for healing.

This new development has challenged all my beliefs and really helped me step back into everything I teach my clients. Some days I am a great client, other days not so much, which is exactly what I hear from my clients. Being consciously aware of every decision and always asking myself, “Will this add to my health or will it detract from my health” can be exhausting and exhilirating at the same time. It allows me to journey with this cancer not let it lead the way.

Cancer Superheros, ask yourself these questions:
1. Are you taking care of yourself the way you would tell your friend to take care of themself?
2. What responsibilities do you need to set down or eliminate in order to make more time for healing?
3. What one thing can you do to honor yourself in your healing – quiet time, meditation, yoga, view funny movies, journal?
4. Are the decisions you are making benefiting your health?

Be gentle with yourself. You are a work in progress, cancer superhero.

Love and light, Diane

Upcoming P.E.T Scan Requiring Faith

Every six months, it’s P.E.T. scan time in my world. Every six months, my faith is put to the test again for days leading up to the scan and the results. Every six months, I am reminded how precious life is and all that comes with it. Every six months, I vow to have a bit more fun in life.

Today is THEE day. No matter how much I know that whatever the results are, I am going to be okay. I live and live well with this disease and have been for years. The results of this scan  will not change anything. Yet, I sit here sipping water this morning contemplating the day ahead. Fourteen years and still this day, this appointment sends me off kilter. Not angry, just overwhelmed and very reflective. What if? What if it’s worse, then what? What if it’s better, then what? My mind gets wrapped around all the things I still want to do with my life. I begin to ponder what I might have done differently with the life I have lived.

I don’t know if you watch Grey’s Anatomy at all. Izzy Stephens, played by Katherine Heigl has been diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing treatment. Having been there, done that, it’s interesting to watch this real life situation be played out on TV.  During last week’s episode, Izzy had another scan to do. As she laid down on the machine bed, she just kept repeating, “it has to be better.” It wasn’t. I cried. I cried for a silly tv show actress. I cried for me. I cried for all the people I have encountered on this journey who have whispered those same exact words.

And today as I slip onto the bed of the machine, I will think of all the amazing cancer superheroes who have shared this experience with me and will repeat in my head, “it has to be better.” 

Cancer Superheroes, it’s okay to be afraid and show that to others. It is a strength, not a weakness. You don’t have to be strong for everyone around you all the time. What makes you a superhero is the ability to embrace those feelings. The sooner you sit in the darkness, the sooner you will find the light.

Love and Light Cancer Superheroes. Diane