Hi Readers,
These last few days I have been reminded that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. The reminder comes once again in the results from my CT scans.
Currently, I sit in my oncologists office waiting for a re-read on my scans. The radiologist compared the recent ones to one from 2 years ago. Thankfully, my ND caught the error.
It’s interesting how introspective and teary-eyed I get leading up to results day. I know that God is in control. Yet, I find myself asking a million “what if” and “how can” questions. Next comes the phase where I tell myself that it doesn’t help me to ask those questions. Then comes grace.
I remind myself it is extremely healthy to embrace all of these emotions. So, I let myself cry, cry some more and then cry some more. I whip out my journal and I begin to work through all of my emotions on paper. And as I do this, I can feel the fear dissipate slowly, but oh so steadily. I hand all my worries over to God knowing He is there to support and guide me. I put down my journal and my pen, and turn off my light. As I drift off to sleep, I remind myself that every moment is a new beginning. I give thanks to God and look forward to tomorrow.
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